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Courtesy of Google Search….author unknown

I broke your heart.
I know when the deed was done.
I knew then
as I know now
I was in love with you.
 
More afraid of failure
than giving myself to you.
I still can hear in my soul
the sound of your tears
on the tape from that day.
 
Two hours of tears and screaming
my name in agony.
I was the center of your agony
in my rejection of your love.
 
It has been thirty-four years
since that day.
A week never goes by
that my thoughts turn to you.
 
In my being
I now know
that the joy I knew with you then
will come again in my death
and hopefully with it
the joy of heaven.
 
If you are reading this
at this very moment
know this is one
who will always love you.

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Cover of first published poetry book "Roses Amidst Thorns" 2005 by John J. Rigo

Cover of first published poetry book “Roses Amidst Thorns” 2005 by John J. Rigo

The realization brought a choking to my throat.

My eyes swelled in tears.

The realization came to me fully

that I will never be loved like that again.

 

The youthful memory of having a woman look at me like that again.

The reflection of a hero in her eyes.

Reflected also in the shining armor of a knight.

 

Ah sweet memories

if only the taste of those kisses

could return again,

would I know again

the joy of love.

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"We need each other on a human level of communication." comment by John J. Rigo, Texas' Commentator

“We need each other on a human level of communication.” comment by John J. Rigo, Texas’ Commentator

My mind still does not accept they are gone from this world.
I find myself many a time reaching for a phone
to call them.
 
It is a select group
these souls that were a part of my life.
Some are friends
that cannot ever be replaced
in the deep meaning of their unselfish love of me.
 
Others were my parents
who I never really knew as people.
There was the apple of my eye,
my step-daughter of many years.
Truly the only daughter
I ever knew in my life.
 
There were others
that I would have liked to have known better
they are now gone
without any notice from my life.
 
At times I find them in my thoughts
mind speaking with them about different things
reaching and seeking unresponsive council  from now
an unfamilar place in my heart.
 
I know they are not really gone
they are just in a different place than me
a place that beckons me as my own death comes closer each day.
 
You see I never have gotten comfortable with Death.
So my dear friends
my dearest of loved ones
make a place for me.
 
A place where again
we can laugh and love
and talk about
all that is around us
each day of the eternity before us.
 

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"The results of not practicing Tough Love"

“The results of not practicing Tough Love”

Earlier in my life in a previous marriage I became a step-father to three children.  When I married their Mother, the youngest boy was age six named _ _ _ _.   _ _ _ _ was both a druggie, thief and mentally unbalanced.  I suspect the mental problems came from his Father at his own birth since his real Father died of a drug overdose

The boy for fourteen years of that marriage brought me nothing but pain and grief each day of that marriage.  When it came to choosing between me or him by now my ex-wife of more than thirty years ago, she choose him.  He destroyed her life both from a mental point of view beside a financial one. 

Today my ex lives in the same now broken down home because of this boy who today in his late forties has been in and out of prison and more than likely is living with her.  His life and her life are a great example of what “Tough Love” and its lack of on her part, is all about.  The following poem is on the first page of my first published poetry book.

 

The house was saddened.
Though occupied it appeared not.
The uncut hedge nearest the street
rose to a height of many feet.
 
The brushes around the house
had not been trimmed in close to a year.
Amidst peeling paint
and wild dandelions in the yard
was a yearning for love
which the house received
year’s past.
 
Inside the home pale and yellowed walls reflected
the internal sickness that destroyed the love
of its adult inhabitants.
 
A sickness born of a young mind
bounded by the disciplines of evil in his youth.
Torn wallpaper marked the first surrender
of this youth’s mother
to a childish whim in year’s past.
 
Pride departed
now shown in the dishes and pots
piled on the kitchen sink
with crusted leftovers
from last week.
  
The curtains were partly open
from a previous night
not for the sun of day
but a beacon to unwelcomed intruders
of night by the youth of the house.
 
The smell of evil engulfed the house.
A pungent sickly odor exhaled by the youth
of the house which brought the gaze
of forgetfulness to the point of nowhere.
 
He sat proudly overseeing his domain.
His position secure to sleep
to play to reach new highs
in his world of bright lights
and swirling thoughts.
 
He had won.
He now had his mother
his protector and provider
all to himself.
 
The man of the house
which became no one
departed with his things.
 
The youth laughed
and laughed
in sheer joy
at his victory.  
 

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Courtesy of Google Search….author unknown

I broke your heart.
I know when the deed was done.
I knew then
as I know now
I was in love with you.
 
More afraid of failure
than giving myself to you.
I still can hear in my soul
the sound of your tears
on the tape from that day.
 
Two hours of tears and screaming
my name in agony.
I was the center of your agony
in my rejection of your love.
 
It has been twenty-eight years
since that day.
A day never goes by
that my thoughts turn to you.
 
In my being
I now know
that the joy I knew with you then
will come again in my death
and hopefully with it
the joy of heaven.
 
If you are reading this
at this very moment
know this is one
who will always love you.

Read Full Post »

  
"We need each other on a human level of communication." comment by John J. Rigo, Texas' Commentator

“We need each other on a human level of communication.” comment by John J. Rigo, Texas’ Commentator

My mind still does not accept they are gone from this world.
I find myself many a time reaching for a phone
to call them.
 
It is a select group
these souls that were a part of my life.
Some are friends
that cannot ever be replaced
in the deep meaning of their unselfish love of me.
 
Others were my parents
who I never really knew as people.
There was the apple of my eye,
my step-daughter of many years.
Truly the only daughter
I ever knew in my life.
 
There were others
that I would have liked to have known better
they are now gone
without any notice from my life.
 
At times I find them in my thoughts
mind speaking with them about different things
reaching and seeking unresponsive council  from now
an unfamilar place in my heart.
 
I know they are not really gone
they are just in a different place than me
a place that beckons me as my own death comes closer each day.
 
You see I never have gotten comfortable with Death.
So my dear friends
my dearest of loved ones
make a place for me.
 
A place where again
we can laugh and love
and talk about
all that is around us
each day of the eternity before us.
 

Read Full Post »

 
I have been where you are
a hell of loneliness and despair.
Had I created this place in my past
as you are now
where I was once?
 
I ask myself what pains cross your mind
as this day of many comes to you?
Do you hunger?
Are you without sleep?
 
The night only brings fear for your life.
Are you without anyone who cares
where you are this day?
Are you missed?
 
I too have been where you are.
From ashes of the mind did thou raise me
from a pit of worldly hell.
 
It was not my talents of mind
nor spirit that lead me from this dark world.
It was my prayers.
 
You never failed to hear me
when I cried out to you.
When I tried to end this life
you spoke gently to me
asking me to be patient
and wait one more day.
 
One day lead to another.
Finally the sun began to shine again
in your blessings and your love for me.
 
Thank you Lord
for giving hope to the hopeless
as you gave to me.
 
Thank you Lord
for loving me when I was without love.
Yea Lord without your grace
would I now be lost.  
 
 

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Courtesy of Google Search….author unknown

I broke your heart.
I know when the deed was done.
I knew then
as I know now
I was in love with you.
 
More afraid of failure
than giving myself to you.
I still can hear in my soul
the sound of your tears
on the tape from that day.
 
Two hours of tears and screaming
my name in agony.
I was the center of your agony
in my rejection of your love.
 
It has been twenty-five years
since that day.
A day never goes by
that my thoughts turn to you.
 
In my being
I now know
that the joy I knew with you then
will come again in my death
and hopefully with it
the joy of heaven.
 
If you are reading this
at this very moment
know this is one
who will always love you.

Read Full Post »

 

Courtesy of peaceinchrist.wordpress.com

I carved our initials in the Tree of Life.
What value has love in ‘death do us part?’
Is love a flash of light
in the long darkness of night?
 
Flesh to flesh in being born
then death without memory
unable to behold
to recall at will in deep detail.
 
Will thoughts become ashes
that are scattered in a soft wind?
My love to you dearest one
is forever more
upon the Tree of Eternal Life.
 
From the first garden
of eternal promise.
A promise of Love
never lost.
 
Love that is always remembered
in the heart of our Lord
that will never be lost
or forgotten
in the passing of time. 
 

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Courtesy of nurpublishers.com

Courtesy of nurpublishers.com

One day

We will walk the path of light.

Unsure if our Lord will be pleased with us.

Will we be met with an embrace of Love

or will we see disappointment in the Face of our Saviour?

Least we forget the gifts of our Lord.

Will we be judged

on how we shared His gifts?

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